Why Don’t Men Do Housework?

Terri:   So I had a young lady, in her twenties, been married a couple of years, has some children, and she asked me, Why is it so hard for her to get her husband to clean up? Her exact question was, “Are all men against cleaning?” All I could do was laugh, but then I really sat down and thought about what she was really asking.  I told her that I don’t think men are against cleaning, I just don’t believe that it is a priority for them.  For most women, hearth and home are the most important things for them because it is where they spend the most time. But I think that for men, who have that hunter/gatherer mentality, housework is at the bottom of their list of things to do.

Russell:   Men are not inherently against cleaning, we just have a different schedule and mindset concerning it.  What causes the most conflict between men and women is our approaches to life and those things that make up our lives individually and collectively.  Because women by nature are relational, they operate from feeling.  Men although in relationships are not driven by how we feel but by our perception of being needed to solve problems and being a provider.  if you approach me with the statement “do you feel like…” my answer is no I do not feel like… if you ask can I or when you have time can you or I need you, then  it’s a done deal.  Our list consist of meeting needs which we do not equate to feeling.  if you want it done, list it…


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So I received a text message from a young lady who is married with young children. She wanted to know why men don’t do housework?  Her exact question was, “Are all men against cleaning?”  After I finished laughing out loud, I settled down and really thought about her question.  My quick answer to her was that men are not against cleaning or doing housework, it is just not a priority for them.  As I put more thought into it though, I realized that most men will do some house cleaning if needed or asked to, but they usually are focused on the issues at hand, is there enough money and resources to cover what the family needs.  That hunter/gatherer mentality keeps them more focused on what’s needed and not focused on what’s already there needing to be maintained.